Welcome! This is a blog for Keira and Candice to speak of all our woes. Ha! Not exactly. We both struggle with infertility. This is our way of keeping in touch and being a support for one another. Here is where we share our thoughts, our feelings, our struggles, our hopes, and our dreams. We have often asked ourselves 'why not us?' We would sure like to know what happened to our storks. So if anyone with similar struggles visits this blog, just know YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Although at times it sure feels like it, doesn't it? Hopefully this may help you as well.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Thankful

I just felt like I needed to get on and say how thankful I am for a few good friends and family members. My sister Nyree and her husband Stephen  have been such a HUGE support and strength for both Mike and I.   I am so thankful for their love and their understanding. We have been blessed to have them come down and see them for a couple of days, and we even got to have a sleep over with their three oldest kids. It has been what I needed. Just to know that someone is there who really does care, and is not just saying that they care because it's the right thing to do. Thanks so much!  I love you guys!
    Another little random blessing....I got a call from a highschool friend that I had not heard of for more than ten years. We were able to go hang out, and just talk. It seriously was what I needed. Someone to listen and understand me while I talk, and then give feedback and insight. She and her husband struggled for a short time (although no time of waiting seems like a short time) with infertility, and now they have the most adorable little boy. She helped lift my spirits and strengthen me, which I doubted could happen for quite some time. Thanks so very much Mel! You may never know how much good you have done, and how I am so grateful for you.
     The past couple of months on Sundays I have been touched and spoken to through the music throughout our meetings. It will never cease to amaze me how the songs I know by heart, and that I have heard so many times can say and mean something different to me. Every single sunday something in one of the songs we sing speaks to me. Gives me strength, or peace and comfort. Seriously. I have been so keenly aware of the fact that God knows who I am and EXACTLY what I need.  Wow! Really? I am so blessed. I am so truly blessed!
   All day throughout work my mind has been on Mike. I think about Mike a lot, but today was somehow different. I thought about him, his character, his strengths, his passions, his interests, his hopes and dreams, his love and undying support. I have been completely in awe of him. I love him so much and am so incredibly grateful for him. He is such a good man. He is an example to everyone around him. I could not have asked for a better companion. So, I have been struck with so much gratitude for Mike and all he has done and continues to do that I feel the burden of infertility lifted. Atleast temporarily. Atleast I have Mike by my side, through it all. Really, I feel like even if we never have children in this life, I have a great, supportive companion by my side, and that makes me so much more richly blessed than many people. I hope that I can be a better person and be more worthy of Mike and his love and support.
   So, about 3 weeks ago Mike and I were talking about eternal families, and how everything will be made right for us, eventually. And I got to thinking about how important eternal families are, and how people who have passed onto the other side are burdened down and waiting for their work to be done, so that they can all be eternal families. Their work has to be done for them, and they are looking to us. So, I felt in my heart, that with how much I want to have my own children and have an eternal family, there are those that feel the same way and can't do it for themselves. So, we have made a commitment to go to the temple way more often and do their work for them. Maybe...just maybe I have been required to wait for my own eternal family so that I can help others secure theirs. I am super excited about this. Mike and I are going to go to different temples, and so we may get a little mini vacation out of it once we hit all of them around here. What a fun, fairly inexpensive (until we get Utah temples out), and easily attainable goal with so many blessings attached for us as well as for others.
  I am so thankful! I am so blessed! Life is starting to turn into a rainbow rather than all that ugly gloomy rain!
I love you all.
~Keira

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Anxious

So I'm really anxious, have been for the past week and a half. We're meeting the birth mother in a little over a week, but the more I think about it, the less anxious I get. Our caseworker talked to her a few days ago and asked her how she was feeling about the adoption, and she said she was feeling really good about it. But what's really making me anxious is the birth father. He apparently doesn't want to place the baby for adoption. So this is a high risk adoption, and it's making me extremely anxious. I'm hoping and praying it all works out without any problems. I'm desperately hoping we'll be able to adopt this little baby. But I've been thinking, and it makes me sad that in order for us to have this joy in our lives, it's causing another heartache. I just wish everything could work out perfectly and happily for everyone. But then that's not the point of coming to earth, is it? We need these trials in our lives to test our faith and make us stronger. We need to prove that we're worthy and ready to live with our Heavenly Father again. It's just hard sometimes, isn't it?

~Candice