So, I have been waiting to update everyone about whats going on in my life, but I can't hold it in any longer. I am PREGNANT!! Yep! Sure enough. I found out on October 4, and its still not real to me. I go to the dr. for my first appointment on the 31, and we will get the ultrasound, and everything. I am super excited, and shocked, and scared, and worried, and sick. Its lovely!! :)
So, thanks to all of you that have kept me in your prayers, and loved, and supported me throughout the years. After 6 1/2 years filled with joy, but also sorrow, pain, longing...etc its all coming together and we get to experience it for ourselves. I am so grateful for this opportunity, and for the lessons I have learned throughout the years.
Please continue to keep me and our little one in your prayers.
Love you all, Keira
Monday, October 24, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Still alive....just feeling like I have dropped off the side of the planet
Hello all!!!
Sorry it has been so incredibly long since I have gotten on here to write. I am alive and well, but very busy and tired. Life continues on. Hope all is well with everyone. There has been a song that has been in my head for several months now that kinda has hit me differently with the challenges that my life has brought me. Its by Rascal Flatts and its called Stand. Check it out. Its a keeper! I love country music and one of my very faves is Rascal Flatts! Anyhow, in the song it talks about how you basically get knocked down and you have to get up, dust yourself off, and stand back up. You will see how strong you really are. I promise its a lot better than the way I just described it, but ya know....
I feel like it fits with all of us and the different struggles that we go through. Only a loving Heavenly Father knows where we are at and where we need to be and exactly what needs to happen to get us there. Unfortunately it is most often accompanied by trials. We just gotta keep on standing back up.
Love you all. Thanks for your continued prayers, love and support.
Love, Keira
Sorry it has been so incredibly long since I have gotten on here to write. I am alive and well, but very busy and tired. Life continues on. Hope all is well with everyone. There has been a song that has been in my head for several months now that kinda has hit me differently with the challenges that my life has brought me. Its by Rascal Flatts and its called Stand. Check it out. Its a keeper! I love country music and one of my very faves is Rascal Flatts! Anyhow, in the song it talks about how you basically get knocked down and you have to get up, dust yourself off, and stand back up. You will see how strong you really are. I promise its a lot better than the way I just described it, but ya know....
I feel like it fits with all of us and the different struggles that we go through. Only a loving Heavenly Father knows where we are at and where we need to be and exactly what needs to happen to get us there. Unfortunately it is most often accompanied by trials. We just gotta keep on standing back up.
Love you all. Thanks for your continued prayers, love and support.
Love, Keira
Friday, October 7, 2011
More than one kind of missionary work
This morning I found out that a senior missionary couple is now working with LDSFS to help us hopeful adoptive couples here in northern Nevada. That is their mission. They are from Nevada and are able to do their mission in their own home. I don't know all the details but part of what they will be doing is getting our profiles to hospitals, talking to bishops, and basically getting our names out there. I'm so excited about this and hoping their help will help us. So this means it is time to update our profile, which I've been meaning to do for a couple months now. The missionary couple actually has a daughter who adopted their first child through LDSFS and a few other children through the state, and they have another daughter who is going through LDSFS as well. They think this might be why they were called to do this mission. At least I think that's what I heard. I was told all this second hand. That's all the info I have and thought I'd share since I'm excited about this. And I know I already said that. Give me a break, this makes me happy.
~Candice
~Candice
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
There hasn't been much activity on here from Keira and I, although I can't speak for Keira but the reason behind my inactivity is because there really hasn't been anything new. Still going through ups and downs. Always going through them. But there's nothing new in that. Still trying to get our name out there in hopes of adopting. Going to be doing more infertility procedures. Not looking forward to that, but if it gets us a baby, I'm more than willing.
Watched General Conference this last weekend. Really enjoyed it. Got me motivated to read the Book of Mormon more often. I get in phases where I read it all the time and then there are lulls in my reading. Then there was one talk that made mention of different sorts of people, couples with children, people who are single and childless, couples who are childless. To be quite frank, I don't remember much of his talk because I was just crying through it. Then there was another talk about fathers raising daughters, and Shalum couldn't listen to it and left the room for that one. But for the most part I enjoyed the conference. I love listening to our prophet, Thomas S. Monson. I have always enjoyed listening to his talks. You can feel his love for all of us when you listen to him.
In a week and a half I'll be spending an evening with two other couples who live here in Elko, who are also part of the LDS Family Services Las Vegas adoption agency. We're really good friends with one of the couples, the other we have yet to meet. Dinner and games. I'm looking forward to it. But other than that. There's been nothing new.
Oh, the twins are doing good. Taylor was moved to a big girl crib a couple days ago. They're both growing and gaining weight.
~Candice
Watched General Conference this last weekend. Really enjoyed it. Got me motivated to read the Book of Mormon more often. I get in phases where I read it all the time and then there are lulls in my reading. Then there was one talk that made mention of different sorts of people, couples with children, people who are single and childless, couples who are childless. To be quite frank, I don't remember much of his talk because I was just crying through it. Then there was another talk about fathers raising daughters, and Shalum couldn't listen to it and left the room for that one. But for the most part I enjoyed the conference. I love listening to our prophet, Thomas S. Monson. I have always enjoyed listening to his talks. You can feel his love for all of us when you listen to him.
In a week and a half I'll be spending an evening with two other couples who live here in Elko, who are also part of the LDS Family Services Las Vegas adoption agency. We're really good friends with one of the couples, the other we have yet to meet. Dinner and games. I'm looking forward to it. But other than that. There's been nothing new.
Oh, the twins are doing good. Taylor was moved to a big girl crib a couple days ago. They're both growing and gaining weight.
~Candice
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The Twins
My sister had her twins this morning. She was only 31 weeks along, but so far the babies are doing good. Trestan Ray was born at 8:07am and weighs 3lbs. 15oz. and is 16 3/4 inches long. Taylor Jade was born at 8:09am and weighs 3lbs 7oz. and is 17 inches long. So far babies and mommy are all doing good. The babies are on a c pap and doing good. They'll be staying at UofU until around the due date. So about early November. Prayers would be appreciated, hopefully they'll continue to do great.
~Candice
~Candice
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
:) continued...
I have been waiting to see how many of you I can keep waiting and for how long...;) No, I am kidding. We have had some unforseen challenges this past week and a half, and I have had zero time to post. I am sorry to keep you all waiting.
So, the past month has been awesome! It all started with an open heart at work one day, and I was open to any and all inspiration and comfort from the spirit, and it just flowed all day long! It was so incredible! I was able to think about where I am at in life, where I want to be, and what I need to change to get there. I have been thinking about how I have changed since our failed adoption 4 months ago. I went into very severe depression. Not even kidding, my days consisted of eating, crying, and sleeping. It has been terrible! I have struggled a lot with my testimony since it all happened. Let me explain: When we were presented with the opportunity to adopt, I can honestly say there was much fasting and prayer. Along with that, we went to the temple several times a week. I prayed to know if what we were doing was right and that we are to go ahead and move forward to prepare for this adoption. I received a blessing that I would be able to discern the feelings and thoughts of my mind from those of the spirit. In that blessing I was promised that I would receive my answer soon, and that it would be so obvious that I would have no room to doubt, even when Satan would try (as he does) to put that doubt in my mind later, I would know for sure the confirmation of the Spirit. Well, as was promised, I received my answer. It was the most incredible confirmation I have ever gotten. I knew that what we were doing was right, and I felt the peace and comfort from the Spirit. So, we moved ahead with all the preparations. I felt at the time, that my answer meant that yes, indeed we were going to get this baby boy. So, it came as quite a shock when it all fell through. I felt completely misled from Father in Heaven. How could He give me the confirmation I had received, and yet have this all fall through?
It was then that I really began to doubt. As the doubt started small, I let it stay and it progressed to different aspects of my testimony. I have never had real faith-wavering trials. Yes, I have gone through hard things in life, but nothing that I felt was real faith-wavering. Well, this experience was faith-wavering for me. As I was doubting my testimony, and the truthfulness of the gospel, I started distancing myself from the things and people I needed most. I stopped being able to feel close to the Spirit. I read my scriptures, and I prayed, but with no real meaning. I did it because I knew it was what I needed to keep doing. As the weeks went by, I started worrying, because even though I was reading scriptures, praying, going to church, I wasn't really feeling anything. So, I decided that when fast sunday came around I desperately needed to fast for my own testimony, and that I could feel the Spirit. That day at church, I felt the Spirit so strong. In many of the testimonies borne, and the lessons taught, I was able to feel and know of my own testimony. It was then that I realized that I still had a testimony, it was just buried underneath feelings of doubt, anger, and pain. Since that fast, I have had amazing experiences with the Holy Ghost testifying different things to me. I have gotten answers to years of prayers as I have read and pondered on the scriptures.
In fact, it was in the scriptures that I received a litle bit of light and my eyes were opened. I am reading in Alma where Alma and Amulek are preaching, and the preaching is not going over well with some. Many people believed, and the women and children who believed were taken and thrown into a fire, and Alma and Amulek were forced to watch them burn. It was in the middle of watching these innocent people burn and die because of their beliefs in God that you see Amulek falter a little bit. He says to Alma "How can we watch this horrible scene?" He basically suggests that they save them. That it is too much to have to endure that. Alma then tells him that the Spirit constraineth him to save them, and that God is receiving these souls unto Himself in glory. As I thought about that after reading all that Alma and Amulek had gone through in being thrown into prison, spit upon, hit, etc. I was completely amazed at how strong they were. Even in the middle of the most horrible trials, they were strong in their faith. They did not shrink. Why? It was in the trials that they had to endure that made them strong to be able to endure some of the most horrible things, and not falter in their faith and testimonies.
I loved that! So, I have thought about many people who I have looked up to and thought how amazing they are and how strong they are in their testimonies, and when you think about it, all of these people were forced to endure some really hard trials. That is why they are strong. That is why they can endure and continue in faith even in the midst of hard, faith-wavering trials. That is how God molds us to become a strong, faithful people.
I have been listening to the talk "Because He First Loved Us" by Henry B. Eyring and in that he talks about trials and testing of our faith, and he quotes from the scriptures: You receive no witness until after the trial of your faith. Yes! That is so true! I have endured some things that I have felt that I could not come out on top, and that I felt were damaging my testimony, and faith, but I see now how much stronger I am. I know w/out a doubt of the truthfulness of the gospel. I know that God lives and He loves each of us, and as we go through trials, He is helping us to be stronger and to stretch our faith. It is all for our good.
I have looked back, and been so grateful for our failed adoption. It has helped me to see where I am at in my testimony and faith, and where I need to be. It has given me hope, instead of pain and despair. I am beginning to trust in my Heavenly Father's plan for me. He is helping me to be more than I could even hope for!
I have felt so good, and been able to see good even through hard times. I love the hope the gospel offers, and the answers we are entitled to receive as long as we are doing our part to seek.
Thanks to all who back me up, and help me through.
Love, Keira
So, the past month has been awesome! It all started with an open heart at work one day, and I was open to any and all inspiration and comfort from the spirit, and it just flowed all day long! It was so incredible! I was able to think about where I am at in life, where I want to be, and what I need to change to get there. I have been thinking about how I have changed since our failed adoption 4 months ago. I went into very severe depression. Not even kidding, my days consisted of eating, crying, and sleeping. It has been terrible! I have struggled a lot with my testimony since it all happened. Let me explain: When we were presented with the opportunity to adopt, I can honestly say there was much fasting and prayer. Along with that, we went to the temple several times a week. I prayed to know if what we were doing was right and that we are to go ahead and move forward to prepare for this adoption. I received a blessing that I would be able to discern the feelings and thoughts of my mind from those of the spirit. In that blessing I was promised that I would receive my answer soon, and that it would be so obvious that I would have no room to doubt, even when Satan would try (as he does) to put that doubt in my mind later, I would know for sure the confirmation of the Spirit. Well, as was promised, I received my answer. It was the most incredible confirmation I have ever gotten. I knew that what we were doing was right, and I felt the peace and comfort from the Spirit. So, we moved ahead with all the preparations. I felt at the time, that my answer meant that yes, indeed we were going to get this baby boy. So, it came as quite a shock when it all fell through. I felt completely misled from Father in Heaven. How could He give me the confirmation I had received, and yet have this all fall through?
It was then that I really began to doubt. As the doubt started small, I let it stay and it progressed to different aspects of my testimony. I have never had real faith-wavering trials. Yes, I have gone through hard things in life, but nothing that I felt was real faith-wavering. Well, this experience was faith-wavering for me. As I was doubting my testimony, and the truthfulness of the gospel, I started distancing myself from the things and people I needed most. I stopped being able to feel close to the Spirit. I read my scriptures, and I prayed, but with no real meaning. I did it because I knew it was what I needed to keep doing. As the weeks went by, I started worrying, because even though I was reading scriptures, praying, going to church, I wasn't really feeling anything. So, I decided that when fast sunday came around I desperately needed to fast for my own testimony, and that I could feel the Spirit. That day at church, I felt the Spirit so strong. In many of the testimonies borne, and the lessons taught, I was able to feel and know of my own testimony. It was then that I realized that I still had a testimony, it was just buried underneath feelings of doubt, anger, and pain. Since that fast, I have had amazing experiences with the Holy Ghost testifying different things to me. I have gotten answers to years of prayers as I have read and pondered on the scriptures.
In fact, it was in the scriptures that I received a litle bit of light and my eyes were opened. I am reading in Alma where Alma and Amulek are preaching, and the preaching is not going over well with some. Many people believed, and the women and children who believed were taken and thrown into a fire, and Alma and Amulek were forced to watch them burn. It was in the middle of watching these innocent people burn and die because of their beliefs in God that you see Amulek falter a little bit. He says to Alma "How can we watch this horrible scene?" He basically suggests that they save them. That it is too much to have to endure that. Alma then tells him that the Spirit constraineth him to save them, and that God is receiving these souls unto Himself in glory. As I thought about that after reading all that Alma and Amulek had gone through in being thrown into prison, spit upon, hit, etc. I was completely amazed at how strong they were. Even in the middle of the most horrible trials, they were strong in their faith. They did not shrink. Why? It was in the trials that they had to endure that made them strong to be able to endure some of the most horrible things, and not falter in their faith and testimonies.
I loved that! So, I have thought about many people who I have looked up to and thought how amazing they are and how strong they are in their testimonies, and when you think about it, all of these people were forced to endure some really hard trials. That is why they are strong. That is why they can endure and continue in faith even in the midst of hard, faith-wavering trials. That is how God molds us to become a strong, faithful people.
I have been listening to the talk "Because He First Loved Us" by Henry B. Eyring and in that he talks about trials and testing of our faith, and he quotes from the scriptures: You receive no witness until after the trial of your faith. Yes! That is so true! I have endured some things that I have felt that I could not come out on top, and that I felt were damaging my testimony, and faith, but I see now how much stronger I am. I know w/out a doubt of the truthfulness of the gospel. I know that God lives and He loves each of us, and as we go through trials, He is helping us to be stronger and to stretch our faith. It is all for our good.
I have looked back, and been so grateful for our failed adoption. It has helped me to see where I am at in my testimony and faith, and where I need to be. It has given me hope, instead of pain and despair. I am beginning to trust in my Heavenly Father's plan for me. He is helping me to be more than I could even hope for!
I have felt so good, and been able to see good even through hard times. I love the hope the gospel offers, and the answers we are entitled to receive as long as we are doing our part to seek.
Thanks to all who back me up, and help me through.
Love, Keira
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