Patience

I read a friend's blog the other day (one who struggles with infertility) and I really liked one of her posts. She was actually quoting from one of her friend's blogs (who also struggles with it). And you know, we often feel like we're alone in our struggles when we see so many people with children, but if you really look around there are so many people who struggle with infertility, just like Keira and I.
Anyway, the post was about the friend and how her and her husband were waiting to be chosen to adopt. A woman in her ward asked how the adoption process was and she told her they were approved and now just waiting. The woman then told her that it will happen when it's supposed to and that she just needed to learn to be patient. One of her best friends had overheard and put her arm around her and said that she has been patient and that she thinks her patience is really amazing.
When I read that I was like WOW, right on friend! I can't tell you how many times I've been told that it will happen when it's supposed to and that I just need to be patient. Well, hello...I had been patient...for years. Yes I had my moments of depression and anger, but overall I have been VERY patient, because quite honestly, I had no other choice...well I could have hid under a rock and let the anger and depression rule and devour me, but since I wanted to LIVE, I had no choice but to BE patient.
And now I have a son...finalization is next month and then it will be official...and oh how I love my little man. He is my world. I cannot imagine not having him in my life and I thank Heavenly Father every day for him. But I still deal with infertility. I'll admit, almost every time I hear someone's pregnant, my heart cringes a little still. My mom says the struggles of infertility always stay with you. It took my mom 4 1/2 years to get pregnant, and she suffered with me because she knew what it was like. She knew the longings I felt, she had comments made to her, and she said part if it stays with you.
I do know that we can let it go by turning it over to Jesus Christ because he took upon our sorrows in Gethsemane, but it can also take a lifetime to learn how to do it. But I know if we continue to endure and continue to strive with all our might to enjoy life, to remain faithful, and to serve Him then we CAN overcome our struggles. But when we're in the midst of our struggles it is one of the hardest things to do. And I know I'll continue to struggle with infertility, but it won't be like before. Because now I have Jax. But it will still be hard at times...despite my patience.

~Candice