Welcome! This is a blog for Keira and Candice to speak of all our woes. Ha! Not exactly. We both struggle with infertility. This is our way of keeping in touch and being a support for one another. Here is where we share our thoughts, our feelings, our struggles, our hopes, and our dreams. We have often asked ourselves 'why not us?' We would sure like to know what happened to our storks. So if anyone with similar struggles visits this blog, just know YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Although at times it sure feels like it, doesn't it? Hopefully this may help you as well.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

       Life continues moving on. Mike has been in school since August, and even though he is only taking 2 classes (7credits) it takes up so much time and energy! We are both still working full-time and he has school and I try to keep everything else in order. Its a lot. I have been feeling so much gratitude lately that we don't have kids. Wait, did I just say that?  I know...its taken me by surprise, but I don't really know how we both could work so much, deal with school, and manage a house and a half acre yard with the startings of a farm. I feel like its too much on most days, since work completely zaps me, and I don't have little kids to go home and care for.
   So as of late, I am happy and grateful that I am not in charge of my life. There is One who is in charge, and knows what is best for me. Some days that doesn't make it any easier or lessen the pain I feel when my heart aches so bad for little ones. However, when I am sick, dealing with my stomach issues, and trying to work 40-60 hours a week and manage everything else around the house I thank heavens that things didn't turn out the way I wanted. We have new goals, and I am so happy that Mike is finally in school, and hopefully I will be shortly behind him, and we have so much to work towards. It excites me!
    I was talking to my mom the other day, and she said something that really hit me hard. She talked about Sheri Dew (She always comapres me to Sheri Dew because her life certainly hasn't gone the way she planned either:  no marriage or kids) but she said that Sheri has written a new book on women and the priesthood, (since this is something new that people are struggling with) and she said that had she been married and had children of her own, she may not have had the time or energy to write this book. Heavenly Father knew that our world would need this book, (and probably many of her other AMAZING books) and without other responsibilities of a family, she had the time, energy, and ability to write them. My mom said maybe that's like me. Maybe I willingly decided in Heaven to sacrifice and not have children in this life, or wait later in life so that I could do a more important work. When she said that I instantly was enveloped in the spirit. I felt so good and it brought tears to my eyes. Heavenly Father does know me, and He knows what I am capapble of and apparently what He needs me to do right now, needs to be done without children. I have decided to do it. I am very timid and shy, but I have decided that He can count on me to do what needs to be done and say what needs to be said.  I didn't sacrifice for nothing, and I am determined to follow HIS plan, and not fight for my own. I love this gospel. It truly is a gospel of HOPE.
   I know that our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for each of us. They know and love all of us unconditionally. The atonement covers not only sins, but also pain, suffering, sickness, and broken hearts. He knows what I desire, but He also knows what I need to accomplish, and the more important work I have at this time.
   Thanks to all my friends and family and strangers who love and support me. I am dealing with my own struggles, as is everyone else, so let's be patient with one another as we all find the work we were sent here to accomplish.
 Love, Keira