Welcome! This is a blog for Keira and Candice to speak of all our woes. Ha! Not exactly. We both struggle with infertility. This is our way of keeping in touch and being a support for one another. Here is where we share our thoughts, our feelings, our struggles, our hopes, and our dreams. We have often asked ourselves 'why not us?' We would sure like to know what happened to our storks. So if anyone with similar struggles visits this blog, just know YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Although at times it sure feels like it, doesn't it? Hopefully this may help you as well.

Monday, December 19, 2011

To the hurt or offended:

So, I don't really know where this has come from, but I felt strongly that I needed to get on and apologize to anyone and everyone who has been offended or hurt by something I have done, or in more likely cases have not done.
  Since my miscarriage,  almost 2 months ago, I have wanted nothing to do with anyone. I do the bare minumum of EVERYTHING in my life right now. Unfortunately, this includes prayers and scripture study. Just going through the motions you might say.
  We have heard about things happening and some goings on, and we have our best friends dying to hang out, and we do zip, nada, nothing! I don't want to. I am sorry, but I don't want to see you.  The only people I see is Mike's or my immediate family, and even that has been minimal. I have wanted to just stay at home, not see anyone, not go anywhere, and not have to put a smile on my face. Pretty much I have just wanted to see and talk to people who actually understand how I feel. I don't mean anyone and everyone who has had a miscarriage,  because it seems that pretty much everyone has, but those that truly know the deep sorrow I feel. Those are those who give the best comfort, counsel, and love.

    So, to my sister Nyree and brother -in-law Stephen. Thank You! You will never know the difference you both have made in both Mike and I's life. Mike is constantly talking about you both and how much you care, and understand. He always wants to go and visit, because you guys help. Even when no words are spoken, we know you understand the sorrow, and that you care so much! You are there, always there and we both know it. Stephen, I just have to tell you how much you have helped Mike. The fact that you called him to talk to him, meant so much to him! He felt like he wasn't getting much comfort, and after you called, he kept saying how thankful he was that you guys talked. You understand and have helped him to cope and heal. You both are incredible!

   So, to anyone who has been hurt by the fact that I don't want to do the normal activites, or I don't want to get together and play games, or I don't want to go out:  I am sorry. I am deeply sorry, and I hope that you can understand and give me the space and time that I need. I am not ready to yet. I need time, and LOTS of it.
  Life is starting to get better, and I am feeling a bit of the healing and peace that I need. Thanks for your continual prayers. I love you all, and hopefully will be ready to be back to normal in a short bit.
 Loves, Keira

2 comments:

  1. Time is something we all want after something like that happens. And we know exactly what you mean by just going through the motions. But even in those dark hours--keep going through those motions. Get up and pray, read you scriptures, and you will find that one day it is easier and you not making yourself do it. You will find that you are no longer going through the motions, but that you are feeling joy in those things again. (I really struggled to get back in the habit when even just for a couple of days I just sat there with scriptures open and not reading a thing) Find little ways to serve someone else in need and you will find that you are pulled from the depths of torment by the beauty of their joy because of your selfless service to them.

    Keep trying, keep fighting--and keep loving and hoping!!!

    In the meantime, we will keep praying for you and trying to keep an open ear/eye. We love you both.

    Stephen and Nyree

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  2. Love you Keira. I understand that need to push everyone away and just take time for yourself for awhile. It's okay! Do what you need to do. Your friends/family will be waiting when you are ready.

    I think about you all the time. I wish I could make it easier or even understand why we go through these trials to bring children into our homes, but well all know it's not that easy. I hope that someday, I will understand.

    You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

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