Welcome! This is a blog for Keira and Candice to speak of all our woes. Ha! Not exactly. We both struggle with infertility. This is our way of keeping in touch and being a support for one another. Here is where we share our thoughts, our feelings, our struggles, our hopes, and our dreams. We have often asked ourselves 'why not us?' We would sure like to know what happened to our storks. So if anyone with similar struggles visits this blog, just know YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Although at times it sure feels like it, doesn't it? Hopefully this may help you as well.

Monday, May 16, 2011

CRAP

That's what the last few weeks have been. Crap. A few weeks ago I thought I was pregnant. I was convinced I was. And I was ecstatic. For five days I thought this. Turns out, I wasn't. So you might be able to imagine how devastated I was. I fell hard. And then, I guess because I didn't fall hard enough or something, 3 days after realizing I wasn't pregnant, I found out my niece is and then the following day I found out my nephew's wife is. And then a few days after that was Mother's Day (need I say more?). And then to top it all off, I found out yesterday that another sister-in-law is expecting. It's all hitting me all at once, and I am near my breaking point. No kidding. My faith is being tested. And I believe I'm falling short, because I'm finding that at the moment I don't care about...anything. I don't care to see anyone. I don't care to go anywhere. I don't care to go to church anymore (granted I'm not going to stop going. I'm struggling more than I ever have before, but my testimony is still here. It's more I just don't want to see anyone or hear about how important families are. Not to mention I'm actually feeling pretty angry at God right now.) I don't care to do anything. I don't care if I hurt anyone's feelings by anything I might say. I. Just. Don't. Care. I know that might sound awful, but let me repeat myself, I don't care. So all I've pretty much got to say at the moment is...crap.

Candice
Posted by The Luv Bug at 11:39 AM

4 comments:

  1. dust and kamMay 16, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    sometimes life sucks. a lot.

    thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. CourtneyMay 16, 2011 at 8:51 PM

    I don't know what to say, but I am sorry.. and I REALLY wish I could give you a BIG HUG... I think of you often and wish there was more I could do for you. my heart breaks for you... but thank you, Candice for sharing how you feel in this blog!
    HUGS

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMay 18, 2011 at 7:59 AM

    Thinking of you and hoping that nobody makes you feel bad for feeling this way. That you get the space you need to heal and process.

    Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 18, 2011 at 9:49 AM

    I love you, and know how you feel. I have had kinda similar experiences lately. I am so sorry for what you and I both have had to go through and continue to trudge through. All I can say is I hope it gets better and is worth it in the end.
    love, keira

    ReplyDelete

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