I found out yesterday that I miscarried. Its been physically painful as well as emotionally. I can't believe it. Yet another thing that I have to overcome when I have barely overcome the last. I feel like I am just getting back up when I get knocked down again. I am too exhausted, and sad to deal with this. I have surgery tomorrow to get everything scraped out. I have the rest of the week off to just be able to sit numb and unfeeling like.
* I have been thinking about what is the point to have people pray for you, fast for you, and give priesthood blessings if the outcome isn't gonna change?
-Keira
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Feeling your deep sadness. I think the prayers and blessings can help us get through our trials with the Lord's help, not always change the outcome. Some stuff we go through just stinks. I hope you can climb out of this, and I WILL keep praying for you because it does help!
ReplyDeleteI was reminded of something during my scripture study yesterday that has been helping me through some pretty rough issues lately, and maybe it will help you, too.
ReplyDeleteEther 12:6 -- And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for you receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.
It sounds like your trial, like mine, is not over yet. Which stinks. I know that I am completely worn out from having to deal with one thing after another, and it's hard to want to keep going -- to want to drag myself out of bed each morning to face another day of the same difficult things. But Christ does know our trials, and He loves us, and He wants us to keep on hanging on.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. You're in my thoughts and prayers!
We love you! I wish I could take this from you! Know He is there even when you feel soooo alone! In fact, I think that is when He is carrying me, cuz I know I couldn't make it!!! We, too, are all praying for you! We love you guys!
ReplyDelete-Nyree
love you, Keira. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteKeira, I am so very sorry. You join a club that I wish none of us have to face or deal with. Having said that, now as I look back after 5 yrs, can say that I am thankful for my trails and the loss cause it taught me just how real and low depression is and how much I dislike it.
ReplyDeleteI left Church and I am slowly going back, so ask for those blessings as often as you need, ask for prayers, love, support, whatever you need don't let anyone tell you are being petty or selfish.. do what you need to find the strength to over come this trial too.
Keira, I know I don't know you personally, but through this blog I have come to love and adore you.. you have some inner strength that I admire. If you need anything please call or let me know some way if you have an email I will email you my number... I have been down this path and no what just needing someone to listen or cry with is like.. know you aren't alone, my friend! HUGS, love, and LOTS of prayers!
We've already talked, and I've already expressed how upset, heartbroken, and angry I am that this happened to you, but I'll say it again. I am SO angry for you. You finally get what you've been waiting 6 1/2 years for and it's taken away. This is a huge trial to your faith, but don't let it destroy your testimony. You need it. If you're ever going to find peace and happiness, you're going to need the gospel in your life. Sometimes I have to constantly tell myself this to get through my trials. The gospel is true, and you know it is. Life just plain sucks sometimes, but you know what will be waiting for you at the end of this life if you stay firm in the gospel. Hopefully you'll also be blessed with your greatest desires during this life, but until then, don't give up. My little speel probably won't help you right now, because this doesn't always help me when I'm hurting, just know that I love you and wish I could take your pain away. I'm sorry this happened.
ReplyDelete~Candice
My mom had to wait thirteen years to get pregnant (her one and only time) and she miscarried at five months. Sometimes the outcome doesn't change, or at least the outcome you hope for doesn't. Sometimes you are the outcome, and you are what changes. That being said, it doesn't it make it any easier, and it doesn't lessen the pain. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDelete