Faith and Infertility

I just read an article in the April Ensign titled 'Faith and Infertility.' It's about four couples who struggle with infertility, the grief they felt, and how they maintained their faith through it all.

It isn't always easy to have this faith through infertility. You really do have so many ups and downs. And the downs are so low that it's hard to get out sometimes. These couples expressed so many feelings and thoughts that I have had over the years. About feeling lost and having no purpose in life. Wondering why being denied something so important. Feeling broken. Feeling abandoned and forsaken. Being angry at oneself, husband, and God. Having to listen to women say they are thankful that God trusted them with a child and sitting there wondering why God doesn't trust me. Feeling left out. And thinking that if I have enough faith then surely I'll have a child, I'll get pregnant.

The article talks about turning to each other and not letting it cause a rift in your marriage. Being a support for one another. Because often times you struggle at different times than your spouse. Being united in your marriage. Taking more time for each other. Get out and do things, go on dates, travel. It also talks about the importance of physical intimacy and how important that plays in your marriage.

What can help you get through the hard times of infertility is learning new things, pursuing self-improvement projects, and service. Look outside yourself and serve others and uplift them, and find joy in doing this. Have a support network, whether it's family, friends, support groups. It really does help when you're able to find other people who are dealing with it as well, at least it has helped me.

And then above all, looking to the Lord. I like what one of the women said in this article. She said "I finally realized that infertility wasn't a punishment. Once I was past the point of anger and bitterness, I was willing to hear the Spirit and receive direction about what we were supposed to do. Of course, that comes at different points for everyone. Infertility was my refiner's fire. My faith was strengthened through those difficult years." We need to trust in the Lord and turn this over to Him, no matter the outcome or the direction we're sent. Whether the answer is yes, no, or not right now, we need to trust in the Lord and realize He knows what He's doing even if we don't necessarily like it.

There was one quote in this article that really spoke to me. "When someone has an ailment or an illness and they are healed as the result of a blessing, their faith is being strengthened. But for those who aren't healed but continue faithful, their faith is being perfected. The first is a faith-promoting experience. The second is faith-perfecting." Even though, for me, it's sometimes hard having the faith to get through this, it has never, not once, left completely, it has only been tried. I don't need my faith to just simply be strengthened, but perfected.

I am so glad this article was in the Ensign this month. That they are aware of how much this is needed for me and others like me. It was seriously an answer to my prayers. Reading this has uplifted me. At this moment I truly feel God's awareness of me, and I know He has not forsaken me. I know I am being perfected through this, and this is because He really does love me. And I am thankful for this knowledge and for the Spirit testifying this to me.

~Candice