Welcome! This is a blog for Keira and Candice to speak of all our woes. Ha! Not exactly. We both struggle with infertility. This is our way of keeping in touch and being a support for one another. Here is where we share our thoughts, our feelings, our struggles, our hopes, and our dreams. We have often asked ourselves 'why not us?' We would sure like to know what happened to our storks. So if anyone with similar struggles visits this blog, just know YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Although at times it sure feels like it, doesn't it? Hopefully this may help you as well.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Keira and I are both having difficulties with family members. With her failed adoption some of her family haven't shown any sympathy whatsoever. They weren't bothering to call and say how sorry they are for them, from my understanding at least. With me and the situation with my sister's pregnancy, I'm getting phone calls from family members talking about how exciting it is and how I should be excited, and they are trying to make me feel guilty for feeling absolutely devastated. Although they'll probably tell you I'm just putting words in their mouths. I don't need to hear how I should be excited to be an aunt. I'm already an aunt to 27 (soon to be 30) and a great aunt to 1. I don't want to just keep being an aunt, I want to be a mother. So don't tell me I should feel excited and happy, because right now, I don't. And don't make me feel guilty for feeling that way. Don't tell me I shouldn't be bitter, because you clearly have no comprehension of what I'm going through and how hard I am struggling. Unless you've actually walked down my road and can honestly say you've never been angry or bitter over the situation, THEN you can tell me how I should be feeling. But until then, back off and learn some compassion. We're already struggling enough as it is, we don't need our families to make us feel worse about ourselves. Our hearts are breaking, so just please try to understand that. What we need, as Keira has stated, is love and support from you. That's it. And I'm not directing this post at any one person, it's at a number of people. I'm not trying to offend anyone or hurt feelings, I'm simply stating my mind. And I don't know if you noticed, because I'm subtle like that, but I'm angry. So very angry right now.
Posted by The Luv Bug at 5:14 PM

3 comments:

  1. kamieApril 24, 2011 at 6:59 PM

    You have a right to your feelings! Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. (i say this from experience. :P )

    xoxo

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  2. CourtneyApril 25, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    Kamie is right Candice.. you have all the right in the world to be hurt, MAD and ticked off.. any and all feelings you want..
    I know that when Trev and I was trying and was before losing our first we found out that my sister in law was pregnant and everyone thought I should jump for joy.. I totally know what you are going through. it hurts and you question everything. I know I haven't been through half of what you and your friend Keira has... keep your head up and I always think of you guys.. I pray and anytime I hear of a girl thinking of adoption I totally think of you and Shalum.. I know that don't help, but my heart goes out to you both cause I think you will make great parents.. if you need to talk, cry, yell, or anything you can call or text me anytime.. HUGS

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousApril 27, 2011 at 3:08 AM

    THANK YOU!!! I have wanted to say some of the things that you have written, but I am not as gutsy as you, I guess. :) I appreciate you telling people what we need and how we need it, and to stop making us feel like crap, when we already feel miserable right now, as it is. People, especially family needs to know how they make us feel, so they have an opportunity to make things right. I am thinking about you. I am here, and more able to talk now, and not just cry, so if you need to vent. Or we can just text, I love to text also.
    Loves, keira

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