I'm sort of having a mad moment. I found out last night that a friend of mine is pregnant with twins. So I'm sort of angry over this. Happy for her, but angry for my situation. And it got me thinking about a time a few years ago when another friend of mine found out she was pregnant. She came over to my house one day and the moment I opened the door...
Her: GUESS WHAT?!
(Immediately I'm thinking 'great, she's pregnant.)
Me: What?
Her: I'M PREGNANT!
(Did I or did I not just call it? Even through the hurt I can still appreciate my awesomeness.)
Me: Congratulations. (Fake smile plastered on my face)
Her: Yeah, we just recently found out and have been calling everyone.
(So why do I of all people get the privilege of having her stop by my house to tell me? Really, I would have preferred the phone call.)
Her: I just ran into your mom at Wal-Mart and told her, which made me think to come see you. When I told her she said you would be so jealous and I was all 'I know'.
Me: .... (Bigger fake smile on my face thinking 'was that really necessary to tell me that? Does she enjoy making people jealous?)
There was more to the conversation but that part just ticks me off, even to this day. I know, I need to let it go. Now days I would have said something to that, as kindly as possible of course. I don't like making people feel uncomfortable, but I would definitely say something now. As much as I love being treated (as Shalum would put it) like a dog turd lying in the middle of the road, that's no longer something I would let pass. Despite my anger over this situation, I love my friend dearly. I'm just having an angry moment.
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I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel, and how hard it can be. You want to be happy for others in their excitement, but are so swallowed up in sadness and frustration for yourself. So, fake is always how I have to play it out as well. Sucky as it is. I can't believe that she knew it would be hard on you, and totally acted as if she didn't care. I don't know who it is, but that pisses me off! You don't do that! Ever!! Especially with how painful and hard it can be for us! Really, is their no caring thoughtful people around anymore? We found out a couple weeks ago when we went out to spring creek that my sister-in-law is about 6 months along, and nobody bothered to tell us, like its just not gonna hurt when a baby comes out and is suddenly in our family with no warning. HELLO?! Well, I am here for you in your moments of frustrations....many people family and friends are pregnant around us, and it hurts every single time. It really is amazing to me how you never really get used to it. No matter how many times friends and family tell you they are pregnant yet again, it always hurts. ALWAYS. Why is that? Why can we not gain the peace and understanding when we need it the most, and when our Heavenly Father knows its going to be hardest on us? I guess, I learn the best when I am sad and willing to listen. Boy, I wish I could learn what I need to know soon and get through this........
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I am here for you. I truly understand. I am here to talk to you, listen, or cry with ya. I love you dearly.
-keira
Wow...I can't believe your family did that. I had a similar situation only it wasn't family just a friend. Two days before Tamra's wedding she calls me up to tell me she's pregnant, saying she didn't want me to find out at the wedding and ruin my day, which I responded 'why didn't you just tell me after the wedding?' She said because I would notice. Notice! Exactly how far along is she that it's noticeable and I'm just now being told?! Through the whole conversation I was faking a smile and trying to get off the phone, but she kept talking and said she's glad I'm taking it so well. Finally I couldn't keep it up anymore and just broke out crying and told her I had to go and hung up. So then at the reception after the wedding, she and another friend were sticking to me and I realized that my other friend was also pregnant and noticeable, which she hadn't told me either! In fact this other friend was the one who said I would be jealous with her first pregnancy, now this was her second one.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know as much as it hurts to find out that someone's pregnant, it hurts more when they tell everyone but you. Because not only are you hurting over the fact that they're pregnant and not you, you're now also hurt that they kept it from you. There's really no win/win for us in these situations, so telling us when telling everyone else is the lesser of the hurt for us, at least it is for me.
Well I've got to get to mutual or I'll be late. Love you!
-Candice
Wow people can be so rude!! Even if this person didn't know your situation, it is still a thoughtless, presumptuous thing to do in my opinion. I'm happy for people who conceive but it's not like the highlight of my year to have a friend shout it in my face. What I hate is when things like that happen and I don't think of a really good response until a few hours later.
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